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The Realities of The Dream

Lisa Valentine | Tuesday, August 18th, 2009 at 1:53 pm

We all dream of a better life.

We all dream of a better life.

We all know about living the dream, it’s what we strive for, hope for, it encompasses all of our ambitions and ideologies. But what if the reality of the dream doesn’t turn out quite as you had expected?

For me personally, this stirs up emotional memories. My family and I left the UK for France back in 2004. Our dream was a better life for our children, but that dream came at an expensive price. With jobs scarce on the ground and rentals only available to foreigners with secure work, life became unsustainable. The children however, thrived and it was a very hard and emotional decision to come back to the UK after two years.

For the family featured here now, that’s the heartbreaking decision they face today. Helen didn’t want me to use her real name, so raw are her emotions that she wants to maintain some privacy for her family.

Helen, her husband and two young boys aged 7 and 10 were living in Bradford-upon-Avon in Wiltshire. Helen was employed as a nurse at the hospital and her boys went to the local primary school. Life should have been comfortable, but there were problems that was causing unhappiness within the family.  Schooling was a major issue for Helen and she was dissatisfied with the way her sons were being educated.

She strongly believed that state education was failing the gifted and talented children and not giving them the chances they deserved: “I felt that any child that was considered bright just got left behind. I felt so strongly about this I offered to pay for someone to come in and help a group of children, to stretch them, it was declined by the Head.” 

This wasn’t the only issue that Helen had with the school, they also had a ‘no football’ policy and she felt that her boys were not being stimulated physically.  She and her husband would have liked to have taken their boys out of state education and pay for them to be schooled privately, but they could ill afford it.  The situation didn’t look like improving and Helen and her husband were determined to give their children the chances they strongly felt they deserved, that every child deserved. Something drastic had to be done. They began to discuss the possibility of emigrating and for them, Australia seemed to tick all the right boxes.

“Always book a holiday home for a week or so before renting!”

Looking for a way out.

Looking for a way out.

Helen found a nursing company in the UK who specialised in employing nursing staff for Australia.  They told her that they had work “coming out of their ears” all over Melbourne. This seemed like a promising start.  Helen’s husband is a Business Analyst and he too, found work.  She says obtaining visas wasn’t difficult as they both had skills that were in demand in Australia.

“The house was like a converted garage! It was dreadful.”

They put their house up for rent with an agency in the UK and scoured magazines for houses to rent in Australia. They found one in the Mornington area of Melbourne and signed a contract to pay $450pw for it whilst still in the UK. She says they just wanted to move somewhere straight away and be settled. They quickly realised their mistake when they arrived. “The house was like a converted garage! It was dreadful. It seemed like it has not been touched for 50 years. Very out of date kitchen and bathrooms etc. I just cried.” she says.

After two months the family decided they couldn’t stay in the house any longer and spent thousands more pounds to get out of the contract they had signed. Helen now warns others of doing anything similar: “Always book a holiday home for a week or so before renting!”

Things began to look bleak on the employment front too. Despite their promises, the UK based agency had failed to come up with the local work Helen had expected. Instead she has to drive for over an hour sometimes to get to work. She was contracted to work 40 hours a week but as her night shifts were only 9 hours, every fortnight she had to work 5 nights. “It was grim.” She says.

“Oh no – not another pommie!”

Australia was becoming far from the dream they had envisaged. Her general impressions of the country did little to lift their mood: “I did not like it and still don’t. Apart from the weather, which is nice some of the time. I find the only thing cheaper is petrol and utilities (gas, electric etc). Food shopping is double the cost that I used to pay in the UK.”  When asked how welcoming the local community were to her and her family she says their attitude was: “Oh no – not another pommie!”

As her dreams began to shatter around her, Helen felt confused and unhappy: “I did not want to uproot my children again. We only brought over a suitcase each. We sold all our belongings for next to nothing. However, it was early days and maybe things would get better.”

There was one chintz of light breaking through the gloom and that was her boys’ education. They had been able to afford to educate the boys privately and they were doing well in their new school: “It is so heart warming that my kids are happy, challenged and are allowed to run around and play like children.”

Relatives in the UK have also been very supportive and much more communicative than they were when Helen and her family lived nearer: “We have more conversations now with them than we ever did in the UK.”

But Helen’s feelings remain the same, she longs to be back in the UK. Her husband has been told that he will be made redundant in four months time, crippling their dreams of financial stability. However with the situation as it is in the UK, Helen’s not sure what they would be coming back to. Her boys also want to stay in Australia as they are very happy with their new school and settled in their new life.

So, to the future. The family have decided that they will reassess the situation in 12 months time and decide what to do then. Helen however, is adamant that if she does return, the children’s education will be a priority: “I just cannot comprehend sending my children back to a school that only caters for one type of child.”

Which way to go now?

Which way to go now?

Helen and her family face some tough decisions for the future and we wish them the best of luck. Hindsight is indeed a wonderful thing, but you can’t plan for everything and with decisions as huge as emigrating, risks are part of the deal. Unfortunately it’s just life that some people find it easier than others, whether that’s by pure luck or meticulous planning one can’t be sure.

We’d like to hear your comments on this story. Perhaps you can relate to Helen’s experiences. Did it all just slot into place for you or have you had to work hard in order to make it happen? Please use the comments box below to add your thoughts.

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